Let the battle begin!
There are several players in this battle. (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
WORK (of course)
Which involves spending time online, adding photographs and descriptions, working out prices, buying new stock, interacting with customers and potential customers, updating my blog, thinking up Beady Bargains and creating sale albums. Then there are things done in the home (we run the business directly from the living room!). Packing up orders, sorting out the postage, stock taking and so on. Not including attending events and all that entails.
FAMILY
The fun stuff
We do make the effort to make time for fun. The things we want to do. Walks with our dappy boxer dog, Chorlton (Yes, as in the kids programme of long ago 'Chorlton and the Wheelies!) The game we try to include before bedtime. The current favourite is Trumps (The card game, NOT the smelly kind! lol) Some t.v. is good to share. We love 'The cube', 'Total wipeout', 'Antiques roadshow' and things like that. The boys have clubs to get to as well, like football skills, scouts, beavers and dance. In an ideal world they enjoy having friends over. That is when I don't have C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome = house is a total tip!)
And then there is the yukky stuff.
Chores
The things we need to do, like homework and bedroom tidying. All needs to be fitted in. More on this next!
The House
I have TWO enemies and this is one of them. The HOUSE and it's evil WORK! Honestly, I neglect this the most. I need TIME and I need ENERGY, two things I am desperately short of. Now, I am not wallowing in self pity here, well okay, maybe I am having a paddle in it! I don't have anyone who could help with chores like that. It's us two, against a very 'out of control beast' of a house (and garden!) I do have some very supportive local friends, who let us have some time out now and then. I am very grateful and a bit ashamed I don't give as much as I take. If the boys get to go to friend's houses it is a huge help. Thank you all who do that for us. You are worth your weight in gold. I promise I don't just think it's okay to let you do that with no return visit. Or the long long gaps before the return offer. We are working on major changes here. For many years we have hoarded junk and we are in the process of de-cluttering. Not quite to the mammoth proportions you see on t.v (Thank goodness we STOPPED!!!)
SO...You are probably wondering 'who' or 'what' my other enemy is.
FIBROMYALGIA
This is THE worst enemy in my life. It means I can't commit to timetables or appointments. It means I don't always have the energy for all of the above. Sometimes not any of it. It breaks my heart it, crushes my soul and rips my guts out.
I wake up every day feeling like I got run over. Aching so much!!! It takes a while for me to get moving. I open my eyes and feel like I haven't slept. The reason for all this is probably because I haven't really slept! With fibromyalgia, you never reach the refreshing part of sleep. Being awake hurts a lot of the time. Sore throats, swollen glands, all my normal.
I have brain fog. I have a poor short term memory. I get muddled up. I start sentences and can't finish them. People talk to me and I go blank, waiting for my brain to process what has been said. It affects my confidence. I avoid using the phone.
Some days I can be fairly active, go for a walk, get some housework done and other days simply having a shower or walking up the stairs can wipe me out for the day or more.
Insomnia is my every night battle. I wake up frequently during the night and only seem to get to deeper sleep when it's time to get up. SO typical! I know we all complain of this to a degree but with FM you never get to that refreshing part of sleep.
I was diagnosed in April 2012 but I can't pinpoint the time it all began. I think I have always had it but, I think it got worse 13yrs ago after my eldest was born. I also have an underactive thyroid.
You can't SEE Fibromyalgia. I look FINE, I seem FINE but it's always THERE.
Accepting and admitting
Now I know for sure, what exactly is wrong with me, I am in the process of admitting precisely how much this thing affects my life. It's pretty embarrassing, to be honest, I feel ashamed. For years I have had 'LAZY','WORKSHY' and 'SKIVER' ringing in my ears. No one knows just how hard I really work! I used to be able to push myself. Not any more! Funny how some people think it okay to say these things, quite brutally, to you. Well, I have some opinions about those who have said that to me but, I won't slap you in the face with them, I am too polite!
Other commitments
As well as running the business we run a group called 'Sharpness Hobbies Arts and Crafts' READ MORE HERE.
My long-suffering husband Tim is involved in the local village hall committee and also helps run the local cubs.
It's busy! There is not enough time in the day.
How to get the balance right.
The first thing we are doing to get a better balance is to set a regular cut off time online. When you have FM it is important to stick to a regular bedtime. I have to be boring nowadays. I am naturally a night owl.
So we are very busy
De-cluttering
Re-organsing
Re-claiming
In the hope of making more time, creating more energy and living a fuller life.
Erm, no pressure then!
TIM
My husband has an invisible illness of his own too.
Severe restless legs (also in his arms) and periodic limb movements. This means he doesn't get refreshing sleep either. What a pair we are!
We may face many challenges but Beadysmyth is in our hearts. We are determined to grow, hopefully finding a place in your hearts too.
Thank you for your kind support. God bless those of you struggling with the work life balance too.
Beadysmyth x
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